At the very end, pain stopped feeling sharp.
It became something wider.
Deeper.
Like sinking into cold water.
Everyone spoke to me as though from very far away.
Lily held one of my hands.
Sean held the other.
I found that funny somehow.
The two people who had spent so much time furious with each other now looked exactly the same.
Pale. Frightened. Helpless.
Lily bent close and whispered, “Meg, don’t sleep yet.”
“Stay a little longer.”
Sean didn’t speak at first.
Then suddenly he leaned down and pressed his forehead against my hand.
“Megan,” he said, voice shaking, “look at me.”
“Just once.”
“Please.”
So I did.
His face was blurred.
My vision had started slipping.
But I could still see enough to know he looked broken.
Truly broken.
And in that moment, some last softness rose up in me.
Not forgiveness.
Not love reborn.
Just softness.
For the boy in the snow.
For the cake.
For the years before everything went wrong.
So with all the strength I had left, I whispered the old name again.
“Sean.”
He made a sound I had never heard from him before.
Something close to a sob.
“I’m here,” he said quickly. “I’m here.”
I looked at Lily next.
My best friend was crying so hard she could barely breathe.
I wanted to tell her the wedding dress really was beautiful.
Wanted to tell her she had to wear it for me.
Wanted to tell her not to keep grieving so hard that she forgot to be happy.
But I was too tired.
So I just squeezed her fingers.
Very lightly.
That was enough.
She understood.
The monitor beside me began sounding strange.
Faster.
Then slower.
Doctors rushed in.
Voices rose around me.
Hands moved.
Orders were shouted.
But to me, it all sounded distant.
Like weather on the other side of a wall.
The last thing I heard clearly was Sean.
Crying.
Begging.
“Megan. Don’t do this.”
“Please don’t do this.”
“Stay.”
“Megan, please.”
I thought—
This is odd.
Now you know how to beg.
Then the pain loosened.
The room drifted farther away.
And at last, I slept.
The hospital took my body before Sean could stop them.
Because of the donation agreement, there was no grave for him to kneel before.
No ashes for him to hold.
Nothing.
I was gone too cleanly for a man like him.
Maybe that was the cruelest thing I had ever done.
Or maybe it was the kindest.
Either way, it was over.