When I got to the bar, Jason was sprawled across a leather couch under shifting violet lights.
His hair caught the glow in soft gold-brown streaks. Even drunk, he looked like the kind of mistake girls wrote songs about.
His friends left the second they saw me.
Before they went, one of them clapped my shoulder and said, “We’ve never seen him like this. He’s been out of control all night.”
I stood there and looked at Jason for a moment.
He looked fragile.
Or maybe I just wanted him to.
I reached out, intending to poke his face and wake him.
Instead, his hand shot up and caught mine.
“Chloe…” he murmured, eyelids still lowered. “Is that you?”
I didn’t answer.
He squeezed my hand tighter.
“I’m sorry. I like you. I always liked you. I just didn’t understand my own heart.”
I stood very still.
His voice was low and unsteady with drink.
“These past few days, I can’t stop thinking about you. Chloe… do you miss me?”
How could I not?
Jason had been the brightest color in my entire youth.
My first crush.
My first hope.
My first humiliation.
The sweetness, the waiting, the fear, the jealousy, the nights of crying into my pillow and smiling like nothing was wrong the next morning so my mother wouldn’t worry—all of it had come from him.
His confession felt rotten and irresistible at the same time.
Like something damaged that still smelled faintly sweet.
“Yes,” I whispered.
“I miss you.”
He smiled then.
Really smiled.
The old kind. The one that could still make my chest tighten.
He cupped my face and kissed me.
“Good,” he said. “Then let’s be together.”
And just like that, I went back.
We started dating.
Jason gave me a key to the apartment he rented near campus. On weekends we cooked together, watched movies, fell asleep on the couch, and built the kind of future I had once imagined all alone.
For a while, I thought maybe I had won.
Maybe all the waiting had finally meant something.
Maybe love really could come back if you wanted it badly enough.
Then I ran into Ryan again.
I was waiting outside a lecture hall for Jason when Ryan walked across the courtyard carrying a bouquet of pink roses.
He looked like he had prepared carefully. Dark coat. Crisp shirt. Faint cologne I could smell even from a distance. He had always been attractive, but college had sharpened him into something almost unfair.
Since enrolling, he’d become one of the most talked-about men on campus. Wealthy, brilliant, untouchable. Everyone liked looking at him. No one really dared approach him.
So naturally, the sight of him holding flowers drew attention immediately.
I was curious despite myself.
“Ryan,” I said, smiling politely, “what a coincidence.”
The pink petals trembled slightly in the wind.
Something about them felt strangely familiar.
Like the bouquet I’d received after the college entrance exams.
Ryan’s voice was very soft.
“Not a coincidence.”
I didn’t hear him clearly.
Before I could ask what he meant, Jason came out of the building.
He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close, grinning at Ryan with lazy satisfaction.
“Seeing you again,” he said. “I was just telling Chloe we should treat you to dinner sometime. If it weren’t for you, I never would’ve realized how I felt. So thanks. Otherwise I wouldn’t have such an amazing girlfriend.”
My cheeks warmed.
I said quietly, “Ryan, Jason and I are together now.”
Ryan’s eyes moved to Jason’s arm around me.
Then to me.
His face gave nothing away.
“Is that so?”
Jason smiled wider, almost provoking him.
Ryan’s voice stayed mild.
“You’re sure this time he’s not just playing around?”
Jason’s smile thinned.
“That’s none of your business.”
His tone sharpened. “What exactly are you to Chloe, anyway?”
I sensed the shift immediately and tugged Jason’s sleeve.
“Let’s go.”
As we passed Ryan, Jason said under his breath, “Looks like some people are the ones standing still and waiting.”
We walked away.
After a few steps, I turned back.
Ryan was still standing there with the bouquet in his hand.
For some reason, guilt stabbed through me.
He had helped me when I was at my worst. He had protected me. I didn’t want Jason’s words hanging there between us.
I pulled free and ran back.
“Sorry,” I said breathlessly. “He didn’t mean that. He’s just in a bad mood.”
Ryan looked at me for a long moment.
Then he asked, “You’re really together?”
“Yes.”
I glanced back at Jason, who was watching us now. My chest warmed instinctively.
Ryan was silent for a beat.
Then he said, “I hope you’re happy.”
At the time, I thought that was all.
I didn’t know that was the beginning of his leaving.
By sophomore year, Summer told me Ryan had gone abroad for further study.
After that, for three years, I barely saw him at all.
My memory snapped back to the present when Summer flicked my forehead from behind the wheel.
“You’re thinking too hard again,” she said. “Good. Think of ways to ruin Jason emotionally.”
I laughed despite myself.
Then she remembered something.
“Oh, right. Sunday. Class reunion. Are you going?”
Our homeroom teacher had retired. It had already been five years since graduation.
Some meetings only happened once before they disappeared forever.
I nodded.
“I’ll go.”
Summer was still worried.
“Want me to find out if Jason’s going?”
I shook my head.
“We’re neighbors. I can’t avoid him for the rest of my life. And why should I? I didn’t do anything wrong.”
Summer’s eyes gleamed with mischief.
“Fine,” she said. “Then just wait. I’ll make sure you absolutely stun the room.”
The last time she said that, she’d hired eighteen male models.
So no, I wasn’t reassured.
What I didn’t know was that Jason had already heard I was attending.
And somewhere else in the city, he was trying on shirt after shirt in front of a mirror, convinced I would still be waiting for him.
Because from childhood until now, I always had.
Or at least, that was what he believed.