Chapter 1
My best friend had terrible taste in men.
I mean that literally.
She was pretty in that soft, effortless way that made people want to protect her. Sweet face. Big eyes. The kind of girl who looked like a little frosted cupcake in human form.
And yet every guy she dated looked like something that had crawled out of a haunted ravine at midnight.
I had already accompanied her to meet three different online boyfriends.
At this point, I traveled with glutinous rice in my bag.
That was not a joke.
It was a survival strategy.
But the moment she showed me a photo of her newest online boyfriend, I knew two handfuls of rice were not going to cut it.
I needed to go to a mountain temple and hire eight Taoist priests.
“Wynne Summers, that is so mean,” my best friend snapped. “He’s just not photogenic. There are a few angles where he looks really good.”
I stared at the picture in complete calm.
“Then preserve him in a display case,” I said. “Only admire him from those angles.”
She choked on her own outrage.
Then, as usual, she changed tactics and came at me with her pitiful voice.
“Summer, please. Just come with me and meet him in person. He’s seriously handsome in real life.”
I declined immediately.
“You said that about the last one too. I met him and ran a fever for three days.”
She saw I was not budging and instantly switched to full melodrama.
“Fine. I’ll go by myself. If something happens to me, then this is goodbye forever. Just remember me sometimes.”
I hated it when she did that.
Absolutely hated it.
So I sighed.
“Fine. Fine. But this is the last one.”
She brightened so fast it was like somebody had turned the sun back on.
While she happily messaged her boyfriend to set the meeting time, I quietly pulled out my phone and opened a group chat called Evil Spirits, Please Leave.
Boss, did the glutinous rice restock? I need two more pounds.
I had barely sent it when a new member joined the group and dropped a message right away.
Boss, I need three talismans, five pounds of glutinous rice, and ten black donkey hooves. Rush order. Overnight shipping.
I paused.
Then I typed back.
Friend, is something going on?
The reply came almost instantly.
You could say that. My buddy got tangled up with a thousand-year skeleton spirit. I need backup. That thing is terrifying. Pale face, skinny as bones. I need supplies.
I stared at the screen.
How could I not know?
Oh, I knew.
Ever since my best friend started online dating, I had gained a profound appreciation for the diversity of creatures walking this earth.